Welcome to LDSBROKENWINGS.com
A Place of Validation and Revitalization for Single, Divorced or Widowed Latter-day Saints
Contact Us & Share In Our Resources/Friends Links 

We would love to hear from you!  Please contact Jennifer with your stories about being single, dating, divorce, or the loss of a spouse by emailing her at:

Ldsbrokenwings@yahoo.com
                       or
Lds_Lcsw@yahoo.com

If you would like to schedule Jennifer for your next Singles Event, Conference, FHE, Fireside, Women's Conference,  or Business Conference, please call Jennifer at... 

        801 717-7494

Jennifer has opened up her new private practice in Pleasant Grove, UT!!  Please see Singles Group Therapy Page for location!  She is accepting new patients in Salt Lake and Utah County areas.  If you have an insurance plan with mental health benefits, or an LDS bishop referral, call 801 717-7494.  Jennifer is paneled with many insurance companies like Blue Cross Blue Shield, MultiPlan, WISE, Educator's Mutual, United Health Care, UNI-Behavioral Health, Magellan, Reliant BH, ComPsych, Value Options, PEHP and many more! Discount rates available for self-pay.  Jennifer IS accepting new patients!

 
At a recent book signing in Utah

 At a recent Singles Conference....

 

Some of Our Friends Online:

www.Ldssingles.com
www.Ldsmingle.com
www.Ldsplanet.com
www.thesinglessite.com
www.utahsingles31.com
www.ldsresources.net

Some Singles Resources

Here are some articles that Jennifer has written or been interviewed, at different websites:

http://www.theldssinglessite.com/dating.html#Avoiding_Toxic_Traps_In_Dating_Relationships

http://www.ldssingles.com/celestial_relationship.html


http://www.ldssingles.com/quickie_courtship.html

Salt Lake City Tribune Oct 12, 2007  "LDS Therapist Works to Help Mormons Survive Divorce"  by Peggy Stack  Article # 7163324

Salt Lake City Tribune, Oct 1, 2007  "Divorce on the Checklist? This Author and Therapist Knows How It Feels"  By Peggy Stack  Article # 7053270

KUTV-News, Feb 15, 2008 broadcast "Why Mormon Divorces Cause Trouble for Some Couples"  URL: http://www.kutv.com/content/news/local/story/Why-Mormon-Divorces-Cause-Trouble-For-Some-Couples/gFyuXd_8i0KmktXBUxH9Yw.cspx

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Latter_Day_Saints#Authors_and_journalists


Handouts from my most recent Singles Conference

Seminar Information from Washington DC Singles Conference 
             and Sacramento, CA Conference Presentation:

              Use This Sweetheart Test to tell whether your relationship meets positive criteria for a healthy permanency:
              
              The Sweetheart Test

  • Do they care for you as much, or more than they care for themselves?
  • Do they have outstanding major emotional issues like unresolved addictions, rage/anger issues, avoidance of conflict, demanding excessive attention or "the spotlight," or do they falsely accuse you & project issues that they have not addressed and healed?
  • Do they say what they mean and do their works reflect what they say?
  • Are your definitions of life similar?
  • Do you share the same goals and visions of life?
  • Do they inspire you to be a better person?
  • Do you feel emotionally safe with them to be yourself (good/bad) and be accepted?
  • Does their energy edify and enlarge you?
  • Can you resolve conflict; does the relationship grow stronger from the work?
  • Does it keep getting better, even in life's difficult times, or do they cause difficult times and drama with their choices and reactions?
  • Are you able to share in all levels of balanced intimacy (physical, emotional, intellect, social, spiritual?

          Healing the Heart

                             By Jennifer James, LCSW

                    Website: www.Ldsbrokenwings.com

                   Email:  jenniferjamesLCSW@yahoo.com

 

 Often, in interpersonal relationships, we get bogged down by the overwhelming influences and emotional triggers of our past wounds that have not healed.  Our partners can trigger our unhealed wounds with an unconsicious carelessness which then often will put us into a reactive state that projects all our hurt onto our partner.   It's a natural, although a negative place to be.  Here's how we work to break this challenging emotional cycle and learn how to love appropriately towards creating a healthy relationship exchange:

 

1.    Self-Assess With Honesty and Truth. 

        --are you emotionally hiding or avoiding?

        --are you blaming others?

        --do you live a fear-based life?

        --where is your power/control?  Do others 
           have it?

        --do you take responsibility for your actions?

        --are you stuck in the extremes?

        --what keeps you from an emotionally healthy,

           well-balanced, wholeness?

 

2.     Work to Reframe Your Misperceptions, Self-
 esteem Issues.

        --are you a victim or a survivor?

        --are you a spectator or a participant in your 
           life?

        --are your definitions of self, negative or
           positive?

        --analyze your self-talk daily – if it puts you
           down, change i
t to neutral or positive.

        --are you codependent or too independent?

 

3.    Spiritually Re-Center

        --Moses 4:14-17  Watch for Satan’s influence

        --Atonement/Grace/Mercy/Forgiveness has
           power when we are accountable/repentant.

       (D. Neuenschwander “Path of Growth” Dec 1999 Ensign)

        --don’t waste the time on earth with negatives

         (T. Monson “May We So Live” Aug 2008 Ensign)

 

4.   The Golden Question: What Can I Learn From 
 This?

        --there is no "failure" in life!  Failure triggers
          shame and guilt which stops progress.  Be
          willing to learn from personal mistakes 
          rather than succumb to the "ego of failure!"
       
--work with the grieving process to heal any  
           losses like break-up, divorce, death. 
        --separate out the fantasy from the reality of
           any relationship situation.

        --use the power of logic, observant-self,
           objective/neutral perspectives when
           triggered by
 emotionally-charged, irrational
           feelings.

           Copyright @ Jennifer James 2009. Cannot be used without written permission of the author.

 

 

  

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